Secured & Secluded

I was highly surprised to read this reality article from a fiction genre novelist Chetan Bhagat, which elucidated the dynamics between different Indian classes, and I can’t stop myself to share this with you.

This article has been influenced by the recent happenings, and public outcry at large. The new generation definitely knows their right, and they will fight for them to any extent, no matter how much the government tries to suppress them, with water cannon or tear gas. But are we going in right direction by protesting at different parts of the capital, is this going to achieve anything, or the protesters will return home empty handed. Instead protests are fruitful when done in right direction, for which it’s very essential to understand the dynamics of India. Let us divide India into 4 classes, let it be 1’s, 2’s, 3’s and the 4’s.

1’s

These are the people who have the power, and are positioned at ministry level, hold ranks in police departments, etc. They don’t possess the assets, but directly or indirectly control the assets.

2’s

The 2’s are the filthy rich people, and they help in securing power of 1’s. These are also nominated by magazines as the successful entrepreneurs, and one looks behind the curtain, as they have filled the pockets of 1’s with huge sum of money to reach there. They make sure that 1’s stay in their position and they often help them with funds during elections time, as most of the funds comes from business houses across the country, and to reciprocate 1’s make sure, that 2’s should continue earning profits, as they place them in limited competition, and provides full political support.

3’s

This is the most important class that seeks change in this nepotism country. These are people who protests and demands change for their better future, and we too belong to this category. They constitute around 10% of the total population, and had recently acquired the media power, as they are affluent and has purchasing power. So media too favors them and publishes, displays the issues that are troubling them. Delhi rape victim was a 3, and this made the rest of the 3’s vulnerable like never before. So they are now a day’s demanding changes in law for their security, but all seems to go in vain, because of the inter-linkage between 1’s and 2’s. As the top classes don’t feel like inventing anything, as they are already enjoying on their past investments, so they don’t want to endanger themselves to loss.

4’s

Here comes the biggie. They constitute around 90% of the population, and parties come to power with their support. They are illiterate, or at the most have reached till matriculation, and have a very little hope for a better future. The Fours are our farmers, slum dwellers, domestic helpers and the hundreds of millions of Indians without proper healthcare, education and infrastructure. Most of the rapes happens is this community, and they think it’s better to keep silent, rather than to protest like 3’s, and even 3’s won’t come out and protest for them. 3’s will only agree to ideas for their self improvement purpose, no nobody dare from 4, shall give his/her suggestion on any issue, as the 3’s consider them as species of limited knowledge, and a piece of mockery.

If 3’s want to bring some change, they must carry 4’s along with them, as the 4’s are being secluded, and are left vulnerable to be exploited from the hands of 1’s. As the 1’s, with their false promises of improving their condition generates mass votes, and the 3’s (Change seekers) because of minority are left in vain. In this way the 1’s again comes back to power, and the exploitation continues.

So if the change seekers, really want to change something, and create a society where women especially take freedom for granted like as men do, they must stop mocking at 4’s, and be inclusive. Let us come forward to support 4’s as well, save them from exploitation, and lend them the media power that will act as a eye-opener for the mass community. Let’s create a better India.

I want to live! Save me please….

What could be more excruciating feeling for a father, to listen such words from her daughter who is battling for her life, not because she is ill, but because her body is being sabotaged by a gang of rapists in a barbaric manner? Right from the birth of her daughter he has been seeing a dream to get her married, and has started accumulating money for that event, for almost two decades, and now all has come to an end, as no one will marry her now. No doubt she was a brilliant physiotherapist student, trying to raise herself in this male dominated society, but now she has been reduced to a level of self-loathing. For almost 13 days she had an indomitable will to live, and had undergone many surgeries, even doctors, psychiatrists were astonished, that they had never come across such a brave girl.

When police officials reached hospital, to take details of the rape, they simply told her to answer by her gestures, but she pressurized to speak, intensified on details and even gave bold remarks no matter how much this added to her ache. She might have developed an intense hatred feeling for the entire human creed, I curse myself, that I am too part of her hatredness. You were unlucky to born in a country like India, and I don’t feel proud to be Indian anymore. More than 500 rapes in Delhi/NCR and justice haven’t come in a single case. What does this means? Is our government promoting rapes? No doubt they are, by their crawling speed of court and law order. This definitely triggers the audacity of rapists, as they had in their mind that they will not be caught, so they will definitely commit as many rapes as they want, to satisfy their libidos.

I wish I could kiss you on your forehead and tell you, not all men are like that, I know it’s hard to make you believe now, but still I want to attempt. Dear Nirbhaya, as the name given to India’s daughter by TOI, I want you to live in heaven, and I want you to see the criminals hanged till death very soon, this might restore back your faith. May you never take birth in this cruel world now, and always rest in peace, we truly love you.

Post Break-Up Syndrome

Vows made in dark evenings seems to be a lie now, your smooth touch seems to be harsh now, your whispering in my ear seems to be vague now, coming close to me was just for a cause, my expectations.. and now I curse. We just clicked so well and now it seems to be wretched. All I wonder is when these feelings will stop running back to me, as I am highly perplexed about their existence. It’s now difficult to cherish the times spend with you, and it’s hard to praise the beauty of the place we use to go. I dint count the times I end up looking…expecting your text, but gone are the days when you use to be around, these are some of the common feelings after a break up.

Relationships do deteriorate with time, which is a result of N number of factors, and the bond that hold both parties together gets weaker, breaks and ultimately ends up antagonistic way.  Maintaining unrealistic beliefs and undefined expectations about relationship shows a sign of immaturity, whereas a relation demands much pragmatism. Constant conflicts over a topic that shows no sign of resolution which is mostly because of third party involvement is prime cause of break ups. Sometimes partners live a parallel lives whereas there is no correlation between the two, as a result both tend to complain rather to comprehend. This often results in more distances, and loneliness sets within the heart, and as a repercussion admiration lost.

Some people became socially paralyzed, and went into a state of shock, isolate them, when they are being dumped by their partner, without giving any prior clues, and most of the people end a relation with just a simple text or an email, because they don’t have the guts to damn it on the face. Break-up is best done with a mutual consent, that doesn’t add to the woes, rather both even feels happy about the relation and cherishing the moments altogether, but the way people chose is entirely different, and does not feel the apathy of adding to plight. Communication is the key to successful relationship, research studies shows that at least 30 minutes a day, there should be a conversation between partners, no matter whatever the topic is, that gives enough gratification to mind, and sense of belongingness.

Post break up people often went to a state of ruminating, and examining their feelings, whether or not, they still love the loved ones, or they live in the hope of getting contacted by their ex-partner, and this expectation keeps on fading with time when not fulfilled. We dump and we get dumped. We want to make realize a person we truly loved, and also we land up on the other side, and don’t feel the empathy about the person who loved us, and we live with this paradox. 

 

Marital Rape or SVM

Marital Rape or SVM

Physical and psychological brutality towards females has engrossed my attention these days because it’s been quite often and common to listen these cases, and every time i gotta read this news I feel sad and empathetic. Rapes and Gang Rapes are quite common and everybody is aware about it, but Marital Rape is a crime that men thinks they hold the entitlement to do. Marital Rape is a forceful and non-consensual sex, by spouse i.e. the perpetrator, and is prevalent mostly in under-developed and developing countries. Initially courts denied to consider it as a crime, because they thought that how can a husband ever can rape her wife, and dint feel perplexity of a woman’s life who is constantly and over the period of time is the victim of this forceful sex, and courts denied to consider her as a victim. We can think about it, that there dint existed any law, for which the woman’s were sexually exploited, this shows the male chauvinism dominance in this world. Most of the western European countries considered marital rape illegal in 1990s and other developing countries considered in late 2000. Earlier there was no one to listen her screams. Marriage is the most beautiful part of life and even a major turning point. A bride leaving her house, for going to her in laws at least deserves a human treatment, her parents tries to fulfill every other insane demand of the groom expecting that their daughter will be treated with love in turn. But instead of love, she is being harassed, and the groom thinks that he has bought that girl, and now can use her, throw her, harass her, exploit her, rape her, or even can set her on fire. Sometimes emotions become too miniscule before the quench lust, that a husband doesn’t even realize the tears that are flowing down her cheeks, and is just busy in fulfilling the libidinous hunger. Let me present you some examples of the victims, so that you might feel more empathetic: Physical weakness in comparison to husband and financial dependence on him, are some negative aspects that are contributors in submissiveness, and allows him to rape her. Woman entrusting on a man, having dreams that after her father, her husband will be the second most loving person in this world, but this faith and vow turns into breach, when she is been continuously sexually harassed despite denial. On the contrary, husbands need to apprehend that it’s just not a matter of sex, but a very strong emotional bond that they need to have with their brides and that would in turn lead to a better sexual life rather than coercion. Most of men do it because it’s in their mind that now they are the legal owner of the girl, and it’s them who will decide how to use the object, as if she doesn’t carry any emotional substance. Whereas it is the murder of humanity and her emotions, and she keeps on undergoing rapes, because she is a woman on whom no one has a pity off, neither she can disclose that she has been married off to a devil.

Five Things That Are Underrated (if you ask me)…..

1. A woman with a firm handshake

Totally boss.

I don’t know about you, but I appreciate a confident, firm handshake when shaking another woman’s hand.  Nothing is worse than going in for an assertive grip only to be met by a feeble handshake in return . Those limp hand shakes are for the birds, and leave me asking, “What woman started this wimpy habit?”  I think there is something so refreshing about a woman with some substance behind that palm.  To me, it says, “I’m a strong, capable, secure woman, and I’m not afraid to show it.”  C’mon ladies, men do it, so why don’t we?

2. Eating dinner alone

When I was younger I hated being alone.  I could easily spend days and nights completely consumed by hanging out with my friends.  In fact, the first day I met my friend Reagan, we ended up spending nearly a week together, going back and forth to each others apartments.  I still love my friends (and my husband), but I no longer mind eating dinner alone.  I could easily go sit by myself at a café or diner and be completely content there alone without anyone else to talk to.  I think with age you start to appreciate alone time more (at least I do), and those times where you can turn your brain off become highly underrated.

3. Comfortable Silence

Does anyone remember this scene in Pulp Fiction?

It goes something like this:

Mia: Don’t you hate that?

Vincent: What?

Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about bulls*it in order to be comfortable?

Vincent: I don’t know. That’s a good question.

Mia: That’s when you know you’ve found somebody special. When you can just shut up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

P.S.  Isn’t that true?

4. Getting lost

I hate to sound cliché, but everything really does happen for a reason.  Sometimes it’s good to be lost, and sometimes it’s good to not have your life completely planned out.  Trust me, I learned this one the hard way.  I spent most of my early 20′s trying to control everything and everyone who walked into and out of my life.  Finally something clicked one day, and I realized that living my life this way made me miserable, so I decided to make a change.  One of the best times of my life was when I decided to stop looking at the big picture, just take each day at a time, and give myself permission to flounder…and do you want to know a secret?  I became happier, and something wonderful happened.  I met Matt, who eventually became my husband.  You might think something is right for you, whether it be a job, relationship, etc., but it might not be what is best for you.  If you refuse to let yourself be lost, than you never allow yourself to truly be found.

5. Handwritten letters sent in the mail

Snail mail is way underrated.

In a generation where we can connect with people all over the world in a matter of seconds, it’s almost impossible to not take advantage of the internet and email.  However, I think sending a good, old-fashioned letter or card in the mail is completely underrated.  Think about it.  What if you opened your mailbox today, and received a note from a friend telling you how much they missed you, instead of simply writing it on your Facebook wall.  How special would that make you feel?  Yep, pretty special.  That’s what I thought!

Original-By Sarah Palma (WordPress)

No Woman’s Land-India

Almost six and a half decades since independence and women are still treated as slaves and are not desired to be taken birth here. A recent report by United Nations- Social and Economic affair department shows that India has the highest female child mortality rate, out of 150 countries. These includes those countries too which are more backward then India, in terms of economy. Have we ever wondered, why this sought of brutality towards girl child, this is all because of the fallacious traditional belief’s people carry in their mind, and also due to epidemic domestic violence present in India. Abusing girl child both physically and mentally is as old as sacrosanct religious books.

 Different areas have their different methods to kill the girl child, the most emerging is the pneumonia, in which the girl child is drown in water, resulting in filling of water in lungs, and ultimately death. The bruise’s of girl’s doesn’t end’s even if she managed to survive out of sympathy of this society and her parents; she continues to get assaulted at different stages. The most critical is the adolescent stage. In which she can’t dress, in the way she likes, because some men outside the demarcation of her house, are of monstrous and libidinous nature and the moment any girl comes in front of their sight in a dress that exposes some part of her body, their eyeballs grabs that part, and continues to stare at her, and that moment becomes too embarrassing for her, that she curses herself, why she is dressed like that, and the embarrassing turns into self-loathing. Apart from financial newspapers, almost every other newspaper is filled with the rape cases. The national capital is not just the capital but it also heads India in number of rape cases, and one out of every 4 rapes happens here.  It is the most heinous crime, and is the most prevalent in India.

There are many more culprits apart from rapists, who makes the victim struggle, to prove her indeed a victim i.e. the media and the cops, who have been resided with the responsibility to safeguard the society. Many a times cops itself are the prime culprits in rape cases, who takes advantage of the position they are designated upon. Above 90 percent of the girls that have been raped chooses to remain silent and does not seeks revenge, because the judicial system  present in the country is so advance, that it takes almost a decade to prove that she was indeed a rape victim, and a another decade to prove the culprit indeed the culprit. In a matter of this time, she dies every day because of the intriguing questions that is been asked from her by the society and the law. In most of the cases she has been abandoned by her family as well, and even no men is interested in marrying her, and if she was not a spinster, her husband decides to divorce her off, because he cannot carry the heftiness of being a husband of a raped woman.

Further, the situation is exacerbated by the media, which highlights the news by using terms that attracts audience to view it, and at times the media channels gathers in front of the victim’s residence just to capture one shot or glimpse of her face, so that the identity of the victim is revealed and she becomes a public figure, and that would give her surroundings a chance to develop a feeling of disgust for her. No one can feel the mental trauma she is going through or the silence, just the silence that is her only companion.                                                      

Is love a Reality or Illusion?

As rightly said by German philosopher Schopenhaeur that falling in love is a blind biological desire, and the primary mode of human beings is to perpetuate their existence. Love is a phantasm between both sexes and acts as a magnet between them. Love is one of the many feelings that our mind creates, and we human beings find reasons to pervasively continue our life, where love becomes the major saviour.

Survival of species is highest veracity and act as a major pre-determined goal of life and all our activities throughout life is contributing to that goal. This is all present in unconscious part of the mind and is the harsh reality of life that no one knows; only a few capable minds can read the blurred story. Couples who are together from decades, it’s not the love that keeps them binding, but it’s the compulsiveness of mind to continue the relation, because of the culture defined to us and where the responsibility part comes into the picture. When people are left with their heart broken they find the meaning of love is vague, and they start questioning the existence of love, but this illusion keeps on repeating itself at regular intervals of time, thus again they find that this illusion vagueness is now being elucidated, and they start driving positive emotions out of it that they think this illusion gives the ultimate solace to their sole. The minor fragments that are attached to this illusion are fear in mind to lose, regret of becoming part of it, fear of becoming victim, etc. These all are attached to it and doesn’t leave the illusion alone in solitude. Breeding is essential for species in order to avoid getting defunct, but this breeding bond has been given the name of love.

The simplest thing is that we want love devoid of finding that it is true or unreal and rather going for the logical interpretation in finding reasons of the conclusion. Love is purely a play of psychology in which oxytocin receives pleasure and delights that makes you feel the sensation of love within mind, body and soul. People find that love is only the way to live life because we are spiritual species and not the biological creatures, so we don’t go on the biological interpretation and lay emphasis on the reality. The illusion is complicated and is not confined to age even the sixty year old man can be affectionate for the sixteen year old fille and vice-versa.

Love is not made for human beings, but for the continuity of species, and we don’t want to shatter our hopes by going into its complex interpretation and facing reality. So we have no alternative, else to live with this illusion, the despicable truth of life.

11.11.11

Turning 22 today…and getting some swings in air & kicks on my butts was really enjoyable as they were out of love and affection,fun, stupidity.I really made some great friends over here, but the hard fact is that we all will be departed 2 years down the line..every small turns of your life you come across different characters..some leave scratches on your heart..some leave a impression of trust, loyalty and affection…but the harsh reality of life is we must not let overwhelm that characters on our mind.I am trying to understand the intensity of changing faces of relations over the period of time..psychology says its not the person who changes…but its the situation which changes and demands the changes to adjust in brand new environment….Human beings don’t have enough power to modify their behavior with situations…but its the situation that changes..and behavior automatically starts changing with that,without coming into notice of the person…underlying theme is that…we need to be pragmatic at the time of separation…because life moves on…despite the fact we have someone or we are solitude!

22 years passed, and my dad never wished me Happy Birthday, neither on the persuasion of my mom, may be he doesn’t loves me,or may be the inability to express love exists with every other dad in this world, but I must admit I got extremely jealous when I see someone’s father loving or sharing some euphoric moments with his Son, as this part is missing from my life, and I desperately want it. I don’t when I will be able to express you dad that I need love and support from your side, not just criticism. I just want to see you Happy,dad, may be you will be Happy without loving me.